National Bullying Prevention Month: Adult Bullies in Workplace, Friends and Family

October is National Bullying Prevention Month, and, while most of the attention concerning the topic focuses on children in schools, adult bullying is a serious issue too. Bullying is an abusive behavior that involves intimidation and aggression with the bully’s intention to control another individual. The behavior is often repeated and habitual. The objective is to dominate and show some form of power psychologically, socially and/or physically.

Often times people only think of bullying within the context of children in schools. While that is an ongoing issue that needs attention there are adults who are bullied that need to have their voices heard too. Manipulative adults abuse in many of the ways children do. However, it happens within the context of family, workplace, universities or colleges and cyber space.

The four types of bullying include: 1. emotional and psychological 2. verbal; 3. physical; and, 4. cyber. Verbal abuse can be just as damaging as physical and psychological abuse; therefore, it should not be dismissed because it’s not hands on. Bullies usually target their victims based on differences in socioeconomic status, image, demeanor, ethnic background, physical build, social status, gender, faith, political views and abilities.

Race and gender are protected classes of people and  are protected by certain laws in the U.S.  Bullying can be person-to-person or it can occur in groups. It is referred to as peer abuse when it happens at school or at one’s job. It oftentimes involves abuse such as subdued behavior that isn’t immediately obvious.

There are possibilities for bullying anytime human beings have contact or interact with each other. Notable environments include communities, homes, place of employment, schools, grocery stores, school buses…the list goes on.

Types of Bullying
Cyber Bullying & Social Bullying
Verbal Bullying
School Bullying
Text Bullying
Workplace Bullying
Bullying Parents
Bullying Harassment
Physical Bullying
Name Calling vs. Bullying
Female Bullying

Ways to stop bullying:

1. Don’t blame yourself. Extended tolerance of bullying behavior can cause one to feel like it’s their fault. However, that couldn’t be further from the truth. We all have choices and the way we treat one another is no exception. Bullies like negative reactions. It’s instant gratification for their abusive behavior. Don’t feed their low self esteem by showing them that they are bothering you.

2. Use the attract more flies with honey approach. Being kind to the person can sometimes change their disposition. Often times bullies will target those they consider to be a threat to their position personally or professionally. Try greeting the individual when you see him and showing him that you are there to help not hurt. Use kindness with caution because it can also be perceived as acceptance of the behavior.

3. Silence means tolerance. Therefore, speak up for yourself if you’re the person being bullied. Let the bully know the behavior is offensive and that it will not be tolerated.

4. Speak up for someone you witness being bullied.

5. Get third party help. This could be a co-worker who has witnessed the abuse or human resource personnel. If it’s a friend or a family member, try talking with someone that you trust or seek professional help e.g., doctor, counselor, psychologist, therapist.

Self Improvement: Ideas for Making a Lasting Impression in Less than 5 minutes

Ideas for Making a Lasting Impression in Less than 5 minutes

Research shows people form opinions about us within seconds of contact. A New York University, Graduate School of Business, study showed that within the initial seven seconds of introductions, people make 11 decisions: “(1) education level, (2) economic level, (3) perceived credibility and believability, (4) trustworthiness, (5) level of sophistication, (6) sexual identification, (7) level of success, (8) political background, (9) religious background, (10) ethnic background, (11) social and professional desirability.”

That’s a real eye opener! However, don’t panic because, keeping within the 5 minutes to make a great impression, you still have 4 minutes and 53 seconds to change their minds! You are the one who gives credibility to what a person thinks. Whether you’re networking, interviewing for a new job or are in a social setting, the following tips can help you leave a positive lasting impression:

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1. Make eye contact and smile. Good eye contact is an indication that you are interested and engaged in what the other person is saying. Research shows that maintaining eye contact about 60% of the time is a good idea. A warm authentic smile makes the best first impression. Ensure that it’s a full lip-to-cheek-to-eye smile. A smirk can make you appear to be unreal.

2. Project positive body language. For example, poor posture can be perceived as low self-confidence and self-esteem. Using your dominant hand, give a warm firm handshake.

3. Say their name. Most everyone responds positively to hearing their name being called. Remembering and saying their name helps you establish a connection. That along with the proper amount of eye contact and a firm handshake, makes a positive initial impression.

4. Attentively listen. Most people go full speed into their small talk or sales speech. However, by listening and letting another person talk you’ll be more impressive. Another way to leave a great impression is by asking questions that require meaningful answers.

5. Ask what you can do to help. Get a sense of the other person’s needs, and then immediately think of ways to help that person. Doing so instantly portrays you as a giver not a taker.