Parenting: Ways to Deal With Defiant Teens

Ways to Deal With Defiant Teens

It’s tough for parents to understand how to handle a defiant teen. The frustration comes with trying various strategies to deal with the seemingly out of control behavior and feeling like nothing is working. The ability to “get through to them” oftentimes leads to more parent teen differences and the loss of one of the primary adhesives to all healthy relationships: trust. The subsequent conflict sometimes sends teens down a road of more negative behavior. The key to turning the situation around and putting teens on a positive path is parental awareness and expressing understanding about how their teen feels. Here are some ways to do that:

1. Underlying Reason

At the baseline of all of the raw emotions defiant teens express is an underlying reason. Teens have difficulties with peers, socializing, dating, school and other external relationships that may be causing misplaced aggression. For most teens, parents are their “cushion,” you are the place they go for comfort, consolation, encouragement, love and understanding. Sometimes they just want parents to listen. Then express empathy for what they are going through. Listening and empathy oftentimes turns a negative situation into a positive one.

2. Minimize Idle Time

Busy teens who participate in activities tend to perform better in school, have healthier relationships with their parents and peers and are less likely to get involved with risky behavior.

3. It’s a Battlefield: Choose Wisely

As teens gain more independence and continue to discover who they are as individuals, parent child differences increase. Choose situations to contend with based on their level of safety and importance. Certainly a teen’s choice of shoes is not as much of a call for parental intervention as hanging out with peers who are on a negative path.

4. Make Problem Solving a Team Effort

Even though they roll their eyes and stomp their feet, teens still consider parents a people they can turn to to work through their problems. What’s important for parents to understand is that teens are growing up and with that comes the important skills like decision making and problem solving. Therefore, listening, asking questions such as “What do you think about that,” and providing advice when necessary is the best way to help teens work through issues. It shows them that parents are there for them, with them, and, together they will get though the problem.

For more about ways to deal with parenting teens, visit: http://www.realbeautyinsideout.com

A Healthier You: 9 Reasons You Should Smile More

People scurry around looking for the latest health fad to make them skinnier, happier, healthier, look younger and spend billions of dollars trying to seize the perfect “fix.” However, few realize the health benefits of smiling. Some may already be thinking that it sounds to simple to be effective. However, there’s actually sound research that confirms it works! WebMD says that a smile makes you look intelligent, attractive and helps you be successful!. A smile also says a lot about your personality. Now, that’s worth genuinely flexing your facial muscles for!

Here are ten reasons to smile more:

1 – Reduce Heart Rate – The body becomes relaxed, blood pressure is reduced, and, the the heart rate is slower when we smile. This takes a load off of the heart and helps it do it’s job without overly tasking it. Research shows that people who smile and laugh a lot reduce their chances of developing heart disease.

2 – Reduce Stress – One of the top 5 causes a range of health problems in America is stress. Smiling is a simple way to reduce stress lower the influx of stress hormone cortisol.

3 – Boost Productivity – Studies show that smiling increases productivity while working.

4 – Enhances Trust – Research confirms that people trust others who genuinely smile at them. Not only is it good for our mental health, it also improves our social health. Healthy relationships begin with the reciprocation of authentic smiles.

5 – Free Pain Killer – Proverbs says: “Laughter does good like a medicine.” Those are strong words, and, research shows that pain is reduced when people laugh and smile. Your mood changes while smiling and laughing due to the chemical changes that occur. Specifically, endorphins, natural pain killers, and serotonin are the “feel good” chemicals that are released when you smile and laugh.

6 – Contagious – Smiling is free. It creates warmth in the hearts of those you’re smiling at and studies show that nearly 50% of people reciprocate the action.

7 – More Success – Studies show that people who smile look more confident and in control of the work they do. This increases their earning potential and the number of opportunities that they are presented with.

8 – Longevity – A genuine deep lined smile does more for you than what meets the eye. Studies show that people who smile more increase their life expectancy by up to 7 years longer.

9 – Enhance Immune System – Because smiling causes the body to calm down, it enables the immune system to respond more efficiently and faster against invaders.

Healthy Relationships: Ways to Avoid Psychological Bullying and Manipulation

Psychological bullying is pervasive; however, there are ways to identify and handle manipulative people who use others for personal agendas. Psychological manipulation can be described as “undue influence” through emotional abuse and mental exploitation, with the intention to gain power, control, advantages at a targeted person’s expense.

Whether it’s spiritual, pastoral, platonic, intimate, family, business, or friends, all healthy relationships involve love, respect, and, mutual concern for the well being of the other person. Most people experience healthy reciprocation of giving and taking. It occurs when there’s a balanced exchange of benefits and privileges. However, when there’s an imbalance in what is exchanged emotionally, psychologically, physically, spiritually, or financially by parties, one person is being psychologically manipulated and is used for the benefit of another. The manipulator intentionally devises a plan that creates unfair leverage of power, and exploits the targeted person for the purposes of fulfilling or accomplishing his or her plan of action.

ABC’s 20/20 recently did a story about how millions of people who are hurting and in difficult situations are manipulated by psychics, readers, witchcraft workers, and, witches everyday. People spend millions of dollars seeking answers to heart felt questions that they never get. Take a look at 20/20’s story: http://abcnews.go.com/US/private-investigator-helped-recover-2m-psychic-fraud-victims/story?id=23348889.

God is THE only true, wholesome, full spectrum answer to your problems. You must always question the integrity of information when you are paying for it. Pick up the King James version of the Holy Bible and read, study, learn for yourself. Accept Jesus as your Lord & Savior and ask God to come into your life, and heart. Seek Him for help. In doing so, you will be comforted and you will find peace and love and ultimately answers. Oftentimes, you’re not ready for THE answer because you need to heal first. So, don’t press God for answers, rather, seek a wholesome personal relationship with Him. He will guide you from that time forward and you will never feel the need to seek answers elsewhere (especially if they require large sums of money).

To identify people who bully psychologically or are manipulative, look for these characteristics:

1. Someone who seeks to learn your weaknesses right away and persist until they do;
2. Someone who uses your weaknesses to their advantage; and,
3. Someone who talks you into relinquishing something personal for their own personal gain.

YOU must stop the manipulator or the problem will only get worse. You reclaim self by first knowing your inherent rights as a human being. As long as you do not violate others, you have the right to defend yourself and protect your rights. Alternatively, if you violate others, you may forego these rights:

Not to be psychologically violated

To develop and maintain your own personal views and perspectives

To express your emotions and desires

To expect to be respected and treated the way you treat others

The right to prioritize and establish boundaries

To decline offers by either choosing to think about the offer prior to making a decision or simply saying no

Not to subject yourself to harm by removing self from a psychologically, mentally, physically, spiritually or emotionally abusive person or situation

To be free of torment, abuse, ongoing conflict and create an environment that enables you to be happy and healthy